Cry. Smile. Cry.

ASDFGHJKL HOLY WOW STORTINGSMELDINGA OM BARN PÅ FLUKT IS COMING ADNFLS WHAT DO I DO!?!

Sorry for the Norwegian, guys. I don’t know how to translate “stortingsmelding.”

I am not prepared for this.

The Bieber chaos in Oslo right now is crazy. The police tweeted that he will probably do a concert on the opera roof around nine tonight. People have been camping on the opera roof since last night, when the rumours started spinning. Screaming crazy girls are everywhere. 

This is all just so incredibly hilarious.

Edit: Appearantly the police only gave out information because they got so many phone calls from crazy fans asking about the concert they couldn’t do their job properly. This just gets better and better.

Perspective is important

According to UNHCR, industrialized countries recieved 20 % more asylum claims in 2011 than in 2010. However, that number is still smaller than the number of refugees living in Dadaab, a single camp in Kenya. More than 40 million people are either refugees or internally displaced in the world, of which about half are children.

And yet the Norwegian gouvernment pats itself on the back for stricter rules, increased use of forced returns and consequently fewer asylum seekers. Even in 2009, the year we were supposedly flooded by asylum seekers, we only recieved about 0.04 % of the refugees and displaced people in the world. 

Today has been a strange day

I got home from Hardanger yesterday. I really enjoyed my weekend there. But often, when I come home from spending time with  people I really like, I fall down into depression again. Maybe because I’m away from them and alone again, I don’t really know. Whatever the reason, today was like that as well.

I think I handled it relatively well. I ate properly. I went for a walk. I tidied the apartment. I called my mother (I know talking to my parents is on the list of things that don’t work, but I forgot I was supposed to call her yesterday, and she freaks out when I don’t call her on time, which is even less helpful) and had a normal conversation with her for half an hour. I didn’t self-harm. I put on nice clothes. I think all of this helped a little.

However, today has also been a day I got lost in my own neighbourhood and was afraid to open my e-mail. (Who gets lost after walking twenty minutes from their front door? I do, that’s who.)

I was supposed to be in two meetings yesterday. Meetings I skipped in order to spend a little more time being happy with my friends in Hardanger. I don’t regret that decision. But I am scared of going to the office tomorrow.

That isn’t the only reason I am scared of going to the office tomorrow, though. I am having a “medarbeidersamtale” (lit: coworker conversation) with the leader and deputy leader of my organization tomorrow and i am terrified. It’s all supposed to be about how we meet each other’s and our own expectations, and let’s face it I have not done my job lately. It is going to be extra awkward because they are also the closest thing to friends I have in Oslo.

Also, appearently, Justin Bieber is in Oslo. Which, for some reason, I find hilarious.

So today has been crap, but also good, and I am scared for tomorrow, but also looking forward to working again.

Justin Bieber either is or will very soon be in the same city as me. And is appearantly doing a free concert tomorrow.

I don’t know why I find this funny, I just do.

I am also scaring myself by almost considering going.

(I was wondering what they were going to use that giant stage on the opera roof for. This explains it.)

I wish I could “adopt” my friends’ parents

They are amazing. I stayed there over the weekend and they were really nice, friendly and comfortable to talk to. They found shoes I could borrow and bought food I like. They asked about my life and didn’t offer opinions on my answers, just accepted them. 

Their son, who was the one I was visiting this time, is starting his last year of high school last year. Their only comment about what he is going to do after that was “you’ll do whatever you want to, of course.”

Their daughter, who I went to school with, found a girlfriend at uni in England. They made jokes about having to practice pronouncing her name before she visits this summer. 

I didn’t really want to leave.

I am going to the park to eat with some friends, after that we are all doing some activism and after that I am taking the train westward to visit some amazing people over the weekend.

I think I am doing well right now.

People are being nice. I do not know how to deal with that. 

One of my friends from school just texted me and asked if I was okay. Not wanting to lie and not wanting to drag her into all of this I replied with “I think so.” She wouldn’t let it go, saying that if I just think so that doesn’t sound too good and she was there for me if I needed to talk. Again wanting to be nice and optimistic without lying I just answered that I know and I appreciate it. And now she texted me back saying she’s glad I know and she really hopes I am doing well. I dont know how to answer that.

She isn’t even one of my closest friends. We were in the same group in high school, but the two of us never hung out or anything.

I can’t decide if this is most nice or most scary.

Edit: I should add that she lives with my closest friend from school, who knows almost everything and is the world’s biggest blabbermouth. Plus I think she noticed my scars when I was there in February. So she would see through it if I pretended everything is perfect.

(Source: postcardsfromwonderland)

"We are always more afraid than we wish to be, but we can always be braver than we expect."

Sorilea in Lord of Chaos by Robert Jordan

(via solarimpulses)

For future reference

Things that work:

• Walks
• Strawberries
• Ice cream
• Getting up at a reasonable hour
• 7-8 hours of sleep at night
• Spending time with / talking to close friends
• Sierra’s fanfiction
• Getting stuff done
• Not caring so much when I don’t get stuff done
• A clean and tidy room
• Daylight
• Happy music
• The university library
• Political activism

Things that don’t work:

• Feeling guilty about not getting stuff done
• Staying in bed all day
• Self-harming
• Talking to my parents
• Keep staring at my work when I’m not managing to do anything
• Staying awake all night
• Not eating anything

The hard part, obviously, is having enough self-control to do the things that work rather than the things that don’t work when I feel terrible.

I just have this strange urge to punch/smash something

(Source: historystudentbyday)

I hate to say this, but Finn is being reasonable right now

This is ridiculous. Kurt actually nailed his audition. I mean just… ANGRY!

Can you stop making Finn the hero already? Please?